A Smear on my Character...

So, I'm not sure how I got myself into this, but here are my thoughts on smear tests, for Rosie and anyone else who cares to read!

I first had a smear test when I was at university. In those days it was encouraged for all women, not just those over twenty five as the crazy rules are today. It was done by the sister at the health clinic, and whilst not my first choice of relaxing occupation, it was in no way painful or uncomfortable.
You undress, bottom half only (actually, that's the really strange bit, I find- being naked waist down only is an unusual thing! Maybe if I'd had a baby it wouldn't be so odd) and lie on the bed, with your knees bent. It's not a torture chair arrangement like you see on American tv, it's just the usual doctor's couch thing. The doctor will insert the speculum, which is not cold, is round tipped so slides in easily, and doesn't in any way hurt. In fact, I've found that once it's in you don't really notice it, stretchy as us girls are. Just as painless and easy as tampons.
The doctor will open it slightly, just to allow her to see, then will take a swab from inside you using what looks like a long q-tip thing. It doesn't scrape in any way, you don't feel it.
And that's it. Job's done, it's over.

The reason I understand the fear is when I started with a new doctor about ten years ago, she asked me if I'd had a smear before, I said I had, and so she didn't feel she needed to explain what she was doing as she was went along. This would have been ok, but she decided to do a pelvic examination as well, which was not something I'd had before, and apparently is unusual to do with no reason. It also wasn't painful, was more embarrassing, as it involved inserting fingers inside and then pressing upwards and down on the abdomen from the outside. Again, this wouldn't be a problem but for the fact I didn't know it was going to happen!
As a result, I didn't go for a smear test for a long time, ignoring the letters and reminders from the doctors. Pure embarrassment, nothing else.

The thing is though, it could save your life.

It's free, it takes about five minutes, and it really, really could save your life.

By the time you have symptoms of cervical cancer, it's often too late. Screening picks up PRE- cancerous cells, that is cells that may turn cancerous one day but haven't yet. And it's pretty curable. The point is, without screening, you won't know you have cervical cancer until it's probably too late.

Eventually I plucked up the courage and went back. I told the receptionist how nervous I was, and she said she'd not been for ages either, and if I went through with it, she would too. I told my doctor how nervous I was, and she was amazing. She talked me through every step of the way, explaining what she was doing and where she was up to in the whole process. She was patient, understanding, very calm and very practical. It took minutes, and at the end I felt foolish for not doing it sooner.

Our daughters won't have to do this. The human papillomavirus (HPV) that causes cervical cancer is now preventable with a vaccine, and is being offered to school aged girls. Stupidly, some schools are opting out on the grounds that it might encourage the girls to have sex. Don't start me on this topic or this blog post will be very, very long. It's also stupid that boys aren't getting it, because they can be carriers, if not actually falling ill themselves. So, anyway, we're the last generation that will need to go and do this.

But, speaking of our daughters, if we are ever to have any of our own, we need to make sure we don't die of cervical cancer first.

So, top tips.
1. Be seen by a female doctor. Ask when you make the appointment. It's perfectly ok.
2. Make sure she knows you are nervous. She won't think you are stupid or immature, she's seen it all before. Really.
3. Relax. Honestly, if you can face dentists, needles and the Next sales, this is child's play. And the more relaxed you are, the easier it will be.
4. Ask your doctor to talk you through the steps she is taking. It really helps, and can allow you to ask questions as you go along if you need to.
5. Congratulate yourself on how brave you've been- rewards are essential!

I know it seems scary, but once you've done it, you'll realise it's not. At worst, it's a little embarrassing, because we're so English and reserved. And for me, a red face is not a good enough excuse!

Please comment, ask questions, disagree, debate, discuss and encourage. The only stupid question is the one you don't ask. We need to support each other with this. In 2006 (the latest stats) 949 women in the UK died from this. Nine hundred and forty- nine. Let's prevent as many more as we can.

Further information is available here.